- Are the dicks sent anonymously?
They sure are! The only clue of where it came from will be Ship A Dick’s return address on the shipping label. Even if they email us asking who sent it, we’ll tell them it goes against our Ship A Dick Code of Ethics and we won’t give out that private information.
- Are you sure they won’t find out I sent it?? I’m really worried…
Rest assured your secret is safe with us! We have never and will never give out any order information.
- Do you sell gummy dicks?
As much as we enjoy eating dicks, we do not currently sell gummy dicks.
- How is this giant dick shipped?
We insert the full length penis into a thin brown paper bag, seal it up, slap a shipping label on it and send it out into the wild via the United States Postal Service.
- How much is shipping?
All dicks are shipped via the United States Postal Service. The cheapest shipping option is ‘First Class Mail’ and generally runs about $4 and takes 3-6 business days to arrive. The faster and more expensive option is ‘Priority Mail’. It costs about $6-$10 depending on destination and will arrive in 1-3 days. All shipping cost will be calculated on the checkout page.
- How long does it take to get there?
Generally, we ship dicks within 24hrs after they’re ordered, occasionally within 2 days of an order. No dicks are shipped on weekends; please time your order accordingly. If they are shipped via ‘First Class mail’ then it will take 3-6 business days to arrive once the order is processed. Faster shipping via ‘Priority Mail’ will get your dick there in 1-3 days after the order is processed. Our website will give you a Priority Mail ESTIMATE regarding the arrival of your dick. We do not guarantee the USPS won’t drop the balls on this. Dicks travelling internationally take much longer to arrive; expect them to show up in 2-4 weeks. USPS has this postal calculator that does a good job of estimating shipping times. Our zip code is 97214.
- Can I ship a dick internationally?
Does a nightingale sing? Is the Eiffel Tower more than a vile sex act? Did I tattoo my name on your grandmother’s front butt? YES! International dick shipping rates will be applied on checkout, as they change for every country. Expect delivery in 2-4 weeks.
- Will the recipient know I sent them a giant dick?
Nope! They will only see ShipADick.com’s return address. It’s our dirty, little secret. We promise not to tell.
- How thick is the dick?
Dicks are made of 1/4″ double-walled gluten free, free-range, certified orgasmic cardboard. What they lack in thickness, they deliver, like a Creed slow jam, in beauty and grace.
- What color are the dicks?
Like your Aunt Edna’s underwear, white on one side, and brown on the other.
- Can I get a multiple dick discount?
You sure can!! We call it DVDA around here, but some like to call it “buy 3 dicks, get the 4th free!” If you insert 4 dicks into the holes of your shopping cart, Mr. Dick will automatically deduct 25% off each dick, making the fourth one free.
- What if I want to order more than 4 dicks, can I get a better deal?
What you need is a Bag of Dicks! When DVDA won’t cut it, we’ll hook you up with the ‘Bag-o-Dicks special’! Often called a bulk order in layman’s terms, the ‘Bag-o-Dicks special’ is an order of 10 or more dicks. Contact us for more info and pricing. We’d be happy to send a dick to everyone in your office or family.
- How long of a custom message can I add to the dick?
Only 30 characters. If you can’t condense your message to under 30 characters, how do you expect to engage that drunk millennial?
- What font is the custom message?
In the one and only classy Comic Sans.
- I want a different font for my custom message, is that possible?
No! Screw you Fonties and your artificial, esoteric opinions!
- Where is the custom message placed on the dick?
In the center of the white side of the dick, just like in the picture.
- Is there only one dick to choose from?
No! We make a new dick for every holiday or whenever dicksperation strikes!
- Can I submit a new dick shape to you?
Yep! But make it good. We don’t reinforce mediocrity around here. We fuck it to pieces.
- Is it possible to buy a smaller dick to ship?
WHAT?!?!?!? Why the hell would you want a smaller dick???!!??!?!?!?
- Why are you guys even doing this?!?!?
Because shipping giant dicks to people brings us more joy than anything else in life (after handies from your mother of course.)
- Do you live and operate ShipADick.com out of your parents’ basement?
Yes… How’d you guess that?!?!?