On days when friends tire of your immature jokes, and your enemies have retreated into the spider hole of themselves, you might not want to send someone a dick. Though we urge you to think critically (for there’s always someone who deserves a cardboard phallus), rest easy, prepubescent grasshopper! We, here at Ship A Dick, have devised a way to give the dick that keeps on dicking.
Materialized during a Robotrip inside a JC Penny catalog, we hereby offer the Dick Certificate. Laser-printed on tasteful cardstock and designed to connote sophistication and celebrate achievement in all things dick, this faux-diploma is available in denominations from 10 to 100 dollars.
Pay it forward and give the privilege of dickshipping to a friend in need. Forget Starfucks cards & Movie Passes. Save that lame mix-tape for someone who actually has a tape player. The Dick Certificate is the ultimate gesture of appreciation. If you have a heart and you have a friend, look inside yourself, pull out your debit card and we’ll pull out our dicks whenever you want us to.
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