Fuck dicks. It’s 2019, and we’re turning over a new queef at the cock shop. Once noble denizens of our sallow jockstraps, our dicks are clearly conniving, cheating, worthless cunts. So we, perennial innovators of all things genitalia, have devised a solution. A remedy so cutting-edge, 0 out of ten doctors call it the new circumcision.
Stomp ‘em out. With every step. Behold the socially-conscious and decidedly not tone-deaf Dick Flops!!! Available in three sizes, these tramp-stampers are ideal footwear for hangovers, dining halls and strip-mall day spas. At their hardest core, they are a flippitty-floppitty fuck you to all those Birkenstock jocks and their slam-clam jamborees.
Large (M 10 – 11) Sandal Length – 11.5″
Medium (M 8-10) Sandal Length – 10.75″
Small (M 7 and Below) Sandal Length – 10.5″
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