Glasses–the official aphrodisiac of hipsterdom (besides free-range, gluten-free, sustainably farmed, antibiotic-free, biodynamic, organic mangos).
Glasses–they turn wholesome into sexy and sexy into wholesome in the wink of a malfunctioning eye.
Glasses–We put dicks on them so you could laugh. We know about your relationships, your inherent restlessness, that lispy voice in the back of your mind that demands you leave town mid-whiskey and abandon everyone who’s ever loved you. We know you need something to shatter the tedium, the tyranny of typical conversation. So don some dick glasses and drink that whiskey. Make someone giggle. Revel in the cheap, transient glow of the dick joke and you may feel good for a few seconds.
P.S. When they fog up, don’t forget to polish the knob.
Choose between The Classic Dickface Glasses and The Double Dong Dickface Glasses or get them both!
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Your secret is safe with us.