Mystery Dick!
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  • Mystery Dick!

Mystery Dick!

We have a bunch of random unclaimed dicks clogging the walkways here in the dick factory. Help us clear things out while helping yourself to a previously loved dick. Our cheapest phalli, the Mystery Dicks are unclaimed dicks that have been rejected by the postal system. Some have already been to France and back. This dick could say anything on it, and we can’t tell you what (if anything) it says. It might say “Move out” or “Cut your hair, you robofryin’ hippy” or it might be a Turdicken. Often they are a little banged up from all the traveling, so don’t get your hopes up on receiving a perfect dick. It’s like a choose your own adventure, except you don’t get to choose.

One Dick will be shipped per Mystery Dick order. The order may consist of any product we offer from a full sized dick to a glitter dick, or even a bag of dicks. It’s all up to the drunken intern and their choice on what to pick from the pile.