Harry Potter Dick
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Harry Potter Dick

Harry P and the Order of the Penis

Let’s face it. Your dick’s covered in Hogwarts, and every time you pull out your drooping Dumbledore to take a piss, it feels like a burning Goblet of Fire. As your stream slowly dwindles, your Half-Blood Prince sinks like a Sorcerer’s Stone and, before you zip, you squeeze the last drip from your Deathly Hallows – and then stuff your Prisoner of AzkaBurn back into your Chamber of Secrets.

If that sounds like you, we’ve got some fantastic news… Our new Harry Potter dicks are here and we’re ready to take your Order of the Penis! That’s right my wizards and witches, it’s the 20th anniversary of Harry’s pathetic release, and our cock goblins can’t wait to crash your nerd orgy . No longer can we wait around for Hocus to poke-us, so snatch that Snitch and make it your Quidditch-bitch.

Bottom line; If you’re a mystic and you miss dick – you’ve cum (on time for once) to the right place.

Enter, stranger, but take heed,
For dicks await your sin of greed
And those who look but do not buy
are cursed for life with UTIs,
so sack and plunder our sacred site
for a treasure trove of dick delight!
Queef, you have been warned, beware.
You seek the dick? You’ll find it here.

Whether you have a Weasley little wee-wee, a ragged ol’ Hagrid or a slithering Snape between your thighs, our Harry Potter dick might be the best stunt cock a gal could ever ask for. One wave of this wizardly weenie-wand will blow her mind and Her-mione. Say Happy Birthday to your bestie or your boss, or some sweet Muggle you’re hoping to snuggle.

Yep, after a simple whiff of this bearded warlock, you’ll bewhacking off to see the Wizard—(Calm down! It’s just a jk, Rowling.)

Cast a spell on the included note card below!

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