Aggravate your blue balls with The Blue Softy Dicks!
Fine blue FELT makes ’em the softest dicks you’ve ever FELT. They’re on clearance, so you’d have to be an April Fool to miss out.
We only have a handful of these clearance dicks in stock and once they’re gone, they’re gone forever! That’s right folks, the felt factory called us at home and told us they will never make blue felt again. They mentioned something about global blue balls shortages as Tinder and internet porn have solved the World Wide Blue Balls Crisis (WWBBC for short). So here is your last chance to get your hands around a big blue soft dick!
On sale for only $4.99!!
We’ll even give you a free note card so you can tell your loved ones what you think about your feelings.
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