THE COWBOY DICK
Cuntrary to cockular belief, this ain’t our first brodeo.
We cowpokes here at Ship A Dick have conquered Bareback Mountain, basked in the golden warmth of a bridle shower and cum away sans malignant saddle sores. (Just HPV, but that’s comes pretty much cums standard with puberty and bad decisions nowadays).
So polish that cattle prod and don those rectal sleeves and drift away with us to the Ship A Dick Dude Ranch in the sky. Don’t despair my little lonesome doves; we’ll teach you how to ride that buckin bronco for 8 seconds at the time. (Our resident cocktor has confirmed that nobody can last longer that).
Moreover, we’ve dispatched the patron saint of cowboy dicks just to help you lasso that chestnut-haired yearling. Moo bitch, get out the hay, for Wild Bill Hickcock is stumbling through the trailer park like a recently gutted rodeo clown. Equipped with a two cardboard cocked revolvers, this cardboard cowboy also sports a Styrofoam Cowboy hat and a shitty bandanna.
Now, quit beating around the bush and beating off that dead horse. Go on and git, my greasy ranch hands; bust out your bitchforks, and strap on those Velcro gloves. Out der on the frontage road, that that filthy little filly is stuck in the fence again.