The word swag gets thrown around like a tub of White-Out at a middle school dance. At Ship a Dick, we don’t mince words (or meat for that matter), but our new merchandise is so swagadickstic that you’ll be begging for a safe word before you even place your order.
Made from 100% organic rainbows and dyed with the blood of rabid wolverines, our t-shirts are sustainable and fashionable. Be you girl or boy, tranny or bigfoot, our shirts will cling to your torso like a jaded lover. Walk proudly as our adorable dicks sail across your sternum and into the disbelieving eyes of everyone you know. Buy an XL, and use it as the world’s sexiest nightgown. Go small to accentuate your fledgling boobies. Crafted by lust-dappled nymphs, the Ship A Dick Original D-shirt emits a steady stream of mythological pheromones. Anticipate that sex-crazed cougar and buy two. The first one will be clawed to shreds before you finish your first Martini!
All D-shirts are Next Level Apparel cotton-poly blend (soft as a freshly waxed hyena).
Every order is sent anonymously!
Your secret is safe with us.
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