I see your Schwartz isn’t nearly as big as mine! Never fear, hapless stormpooper, for we’ve fashioned Dick Sabers for all ye less endowed out there. Mancrafted by a tribe of horny ewoks, these 28 inch cardboard sabers feature sturdy testicles that offer unprecedented grip for your greasy, little talons. These sabers cum in twos, so prepare for that awkward moment when you have to leave your parents’ basement and actually hang out with someone else!
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