The Dick Sweatshirt
Holy Cockamole, Shaftman!
Have we got a manty-dropping PSA for all ye Shipadick superfans out there!. So put down the Zima, you brown-nosed sycophants, and pay erection for once in your lives!
Behold the limited-edition Crew-neck Sweatshirt. Available in sizes from XS to XL (sold out of 2XL…sorry!), this clitoral pink & cock-crafted cotton sweatshirt is softer than the sweet spot on your Grandma’s front-butt. And that’s not all. This shit is embroidered too. Other lame companies will screen-print their logos on cheap t-shirts from Costco that will not only turn your nipples into bloody, puss-filled volcanoes, but they’ll shrink instantly like your cocktail wiener in a kiddie pool. Not us. Our state-of-the-fart embroidery comes standard with a foot-long hot dog and a hallway.
Yes, my friends the 90’s are back. Go frost those tips, check your hotmail accounts and peel Axl Rose from that gas station bathroom. Oh and buy this shiek-AF, crew-neck sweatshirt from your buttrockin’ brothers at ShipADick! Did we mention every sweatshirt comes with a free pair of white, Jockey* underwear?
All proceeds go to the kids in Soul Asylum’s Runaway Train Video! Not.
* Not actual underwear from people that ride racehorses for a living. The CDC squashed that idea before we could even get a prototype!