Yes, my sweet yearlings, we’ve got more in our jockstraps than just a cardboard dick.
Right you are, esteemed shopper, we are no longer simply one-dick ponies. What village idiot said that you can’t teach an old dog new dicks? How dare you suggest that we’re only interested in beating off the dead horse?
Well, squabble no longer because we’ve entered the holy realm of kidz stuff with the whimsical, wind-up boy toy. Ideal for infants ages 2 weeks and up, this dancing dickhead will sputter its way to the hearts of all the children in the universe. Mounted on plastic clown feet, this dickhead requires no batteries or internet Apps. Just wind him up and watch in awe while this 2 inch-hard on charges across your Pergo like a love soldier from days of yore. Also good for conversations about the birds and the bees. Also great as a delightfully unpredictable emergency butt plug!
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