Kelly Clarkson, we can help with the Divorce

Kelly,
We heard the news….the folks over at TMZ filled us in: Kelly’s Divoce
We understand this is a difficult time in your life, and we’re here to help. Not only would we be open to taking you out on a nice socially distanced date, but furthermore, we’d be happy to help you send the divorce papers in style. Ship Brandon Blackstock those papers taped to a big cardboard dick!
Those dicks by mail will arrive in no time, and I’m sure it will drive the message home.
May we suggest a Custom Message Dick that reads: Since You’ve Been Gone, I found Mr. Dick   Or maybe one that says: You Know Why You’re Getting This

There is also the Gummy Dick option, so you can tell Brandon to eat a dick and mean it!

Lastly, have your publicist send us your address, as I’m sure you’re ready to enjoy a tasty adult beverage from one of our Pints of Dicks. It’s on us 😉
Get in touch Kelly, and I’d be happy to walk down the red carpet with you at the next Billboard Music Awards.

Love and always yours,
Mr. Dick

 

 

PS This could be us….

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