Novelty Dicks

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Middle Finger Glasses! – 2 pack

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Finally, some eyewear that represents your inner dialogue. Fuck you, fuck off, fuck no, fuck that, or eh, fuck it. These Middle Finger Glasses (or MFG’s as we say around the Dick Factory) express how you feel without you having to physically gesture, so you can keep fingering your, um, phone without looking up. Why waste the energy in screaming ‘Eat a Dick’ or ‘Eat a Bag of Dicks!’ when you can simply sport a ‘Fuck You’ around each eye? Furthermore, if someone calls you a Box of Dicks you can say ‘excuse me, I didn’t get that… let me put my glasses on so I can hear you better’ and slip-on your MFG’s and just stare at the MF’er.

A few fun facts: Grandma Dick adorns this lovely eyewear each year at Coachella and receives many flattering compliments from her lady friends (although she also wears them at every rave and EDM show she attends). Grandpa Dick keeps them on his passenger seat while driving, ever ready to throw them on in the case someone cuts him off. I wear them pretty much everywhere I go.

Recently some people have said to me “But Mr. Dick! The Middle Finger Glasses have nothing to do with Dicks!” My response is always to clear my throat, turn around to put on the Middle Finger Glasses, and turn to look at them without saying a word. This is usually when they turn around and mutter ‘Fucking Dick…” Exactly my point. Then I like one of the Bee Gee Goats.

Each pair of Middle Finger Glasses is lovingly laser cut out of black mounting board (.055″ thick). Sold in pairs of 2, they are shipped out with a few Ship a Dick stickers, a book of Ship a Dick matches, and of course, your custom note card. The box is 9.5″ x 7″ x 2″ with the classic ‘Fondle With Care’ sticker on the top.


Weight4 oz
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