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The Gummy Dicks!

Are you ready to eat a Bag of Swedish Dicks??

Tired of the same old gummer from the Moldovan widow in apartment 2B?
Does sugar daddy insist on deep V diving dentures-first?
Weep no more, my unfortunate saps, for we’ve got a cumload of gummy dicks to plunder that rickety relation-Ship. 100% organic, trans-fat free and handpicked by the severed fingers of unionized factory workers, these DDT-free, anti-agent orange amalgams of corn syrup and gelatin are the gummy dicks you can feel good about. I repeat—other gummy dicks are made primarily from the flesh of baby seals. Baby Seal barely makes our ingredient list. Unlike those other guys, our gummy dicks stand erect for diversity too! They cum in and on every color. So wait no longer, my waffling stomper. Send a bag of dicks by in the mail system today!

A free note card is included and you can enter it below.
Tell someone special to eat a bag of dicks!

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Your secret is safe with us.

$12.99

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Love and always yours,
-
Mr. Dick.

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