29" of rock-hard Freedom!
What is ‘merica? Tom Cruise? Cheeseburgers? Fireworks? Diabetes? Pharmaceutical commercials? Uncle Sam teabaggin’ yer stepmother? No! It’s the mother fucking freedom to send people giant cardboard dicks and not give a fuck what anyone thinks about it.
Maybe it’s the way the stars on the balls twinkle or maybe it’s how the stripes on the shaft accentuate its length, either way, this dick fucking loves freedom. Equipped with an NSA microchip that beeps every time you get boner, this freedom dick will watch you while you’re sleeping. Just kidding. At least we think we are. Anyhoo, help us rain these freedom dicks on every 4th of July Parade.
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