Man hair has taken over the fashion scene like hula-hoops and handjobs in post WW II Suburbia. For better or worse, beards are back, and the fake hipster lumberjack dude is a force to be reckoned with. Whether it's flecked with PBR or accentuated by a European cigarette, celebrate that steely wool of manface by sending that special Beardo a cardboard dick.
I mean, let’s face it; most dudes with beards are dicks; most chicks with beards want dicks. Once an indication of brawn and grit, our 21st century beardos mask their immaturity with a perfectly curated hairball of annoying sophistication. His favorite band–they’re not really a band yet, but you’ll be listening to them soon!! His favorite place–Thailand because it’s soooooo estranged from Western thought…Whatthefuckever…
Reveal their ridickulousness, and give these vain gloryhounds a beard-twisting self-portrait of their horribly true selves.
We’ve even included a free notecard!
Every order is sent anonymously!
Your secret is safe with us.