Tire Cocks - Penis Valve Stem Caps
The time has come to pimp yo ride!! (90's kids know what I mean)
Slap on some Wheel Willies Penis Valve Caps and impress your whole family. 6 out of 7 dentists agree that your grandma will love them.
Perfect for your car, motorcycle, and bicycle.
Or maybe it's time to finally match those truck nuts hanging off the back of your f-150. We get it.
These are made right here in the US of A by the minions in the dick factory. We pay them to watch our 3D-Printers all day to make sure there isn't any kind of robotic uprising fueled by the endless dick printing the machines are forced to do. Know that Mr. Dick is doing his part to keep you safe from AI taking over and killing us all.
Prank your friends and loved ones or that dumb-ass neighbor that won't stop parking in your spot even though it's clearly marked for your Apartment #69420...
These will fit all standard valve stems on cars, trucks, and motorcycles. They will fit all Schrader valve bicycle tires.
They come in packs of 2 or 4 and make your selection above.
We've also included a FREE notecard. Let them know how much you love them!
Color options include:
- Rainboner
- Glow in the Dark
- Pink
- Black
They are made using high-quality PLA plastic filament.
Every order is sent anonymously!
Your secret is safe with us.
Some Frequently Asked Dick Questions:
- Are the dicks sent anonymously?
They sure are! The only clue of where it came from will be Ship A Dick’s return address on the shipping label. Even if they email us asking who sent it, we’ll tell them it goes against our Ship A Dick Code of Ethics and we won’t give out that private information.
- Are you sure they won’t find out I sent it?? I’m really worried…
Rest assured your secret is safe with us! We have never and will never give out any order information.
- How is this giant dick shipped?
We insert the full length penis into a thin brown paper bag, seal it up, slap a shipping label on it and send it out into the wild via the United States Postal Service.
Every order gets a large orange sticker that says "Fondle With Care'
- How much is shipping?
All dicks are shipped via the United States Postal Service. The cheapest shipping option is ‘First Class Mail’ and generally runs about $5 and takes 3-6 business days to arrive. The faster and more expensive option is ‘Priority Mail’. It costs about $7-$12 depending on the destination and will arrive in 1-3 days. All shipping costs will be calculated on the checkout page.
- How long does it take to get there?
Generally, we ship dicks within 24hrs after they’re ordered, occasionally within 2 days of an order. No dicks are shipped on weekends; please time your order accordingly. If they are shipped via ‘First Class mail’ then it will take 3-6 business days to arrive once the order is processed. Faster shipping via ‘Priority Mail’ will get your dick there in 1-3 days after the order is processed. We do not guarantee the USPS won’t drop the balls on this.
- Will the recipient know I sent them a giant dick?
Nope! They will only see ShipADick.com’s return address. It’s our dirty, little secret. We promise not to tell.
- How thick is the dick?
Dicks are made of 1/4″ double-walled gluten free, free-range, certified orgasmic cardboard. What they lack in thickness, they deliver, like a Creed slow jam, in beauty and grace.
- What color are the dicks?
Like your Aunt Edna’s underwear, white on one side, and brown on the other.
- Why are you guys even doing this?!?!?
Because shipping giant dicks to people brings us more joy than anything else in life (after handies from your mother of course.)
- Do you live and operate ShipADick.com out of your parent’s basement?
Yes… How’d you guess that?!?!?