29″ Dick – Custom Message
Every order is sent anonymously!
Your secret is safe with us.
A 29″ personalized member
that will bring a smile to any recipient’s face. Use the Custom message to express your love or remind your friends of that embarrassing drunken moment from the night before. Or go rouge and fill the blank with jibberdick. The message is engraved with precision by a fricken laser! That’s right, this is a goddamn laser dick! Or at least a laser engraved dick.The message will be written in the one and only Comic Sans.
Message is 35 Characters MAX.
Here are a few ideas for messages to get the balls rolling:
Happy Birthday!
I think we should start seeing other people.
Get well soon!!
You’re a dick!
You know why you’re getting this…
Congratulations!
I wanna tongue punch your fart box.
It’s a Boy!!
It’s a Girl!!
SLAP!
I’m a grower, not a shower…
Your mom ruled in the sack last night!
Mine bends where yours ends.
I love you.
This is for being the loudest person in the Apt. complex.
Suck my left nut!
If your dick was this big, you’d have a smaller truck.
If you weren’t such a dick, I’d love you.
I <3 your mother!
I wish you weren’t such a dick.
You’re the most liked person in the office!
Happy Birthday Dad!
Happy Birthday Mom!
Happy Mother’s Day!
Since I can’t be inside you on your birthday, I thought I’d send you this.
Balls Deep!
MOVE OUT!!
Balls to the wall!
Every order is sent anonymously!
Your secret is safe with us.
Some Frequently Asked Dick Questions:
- Are the dicks sent anonymously?
They sure are! The only clue of where it came from will be Ship A Dick’s return address on the shipping label. Even if they email us asking who sent it, we’ll tell them it goes against our Ship A Dick Code of Ethics and we won’t give out that private information.
- Are you sure they won’t find out I sent it?? I’m really worried…
Rest assured your secret is safe with us! We have never and will never give out any order information.
- How is this giant dick shipped?
We insert the full length penis into a thin brown paper bag, seal it up, slap a shipping label on it and send it out into the wild via the United States Postal Service.
Every order gets a large orange sticker that says "Fondle With Care'
- How much is shipping?
All dicks are shipped via the United States Postal Service. The cheapest shipping option is ‘First Class Mail’ and generally runs about $5 and takes 3-6 business days to arrive. The faster and more expensive option is ‘Priority Mail’. It costs about $7-$12 depending on the destination and will arrive in 1-3 days. All shipping costs will be calculated on the checkout page.
- How long does it take to get there?
Generally, we ship dicks within 24hrs after they’re ordered, occasionally within 2 days of an order. No dicks are shipped on weekends; please time your order accordingly. If they are shipped via ‘First Class mail’ then it will take 3-6 business days to arrive once the order is processed. Faster shipping via ‘Priority Mail’ will get your dick there in 1-3 days after the order is processed. We do not guarantee the USPS won’t drop the balls on this.
- Will the recipient know I sent them a giant dick?
Nope! They will only see ShipADick.com’s return address. It’s our dirty, little secret. We promise not to tell.
- How thick is the dick?
Dicks are made of 1/4″ double-walled gluten free, free-range, certified orgasmic cardboard. What they lack in thickness, they deliver, like a Creed slow jam, in beauty and grace.
- What color are the dicks?
Like your Aunt Edna’s underwear, white on one side, and brown on the other.
- Why are you guys even doing this?!?!?
Because shipping giant dicks to people brings us more joy than anything else in life (after handies from your mother of course.)
- Do you live and operate ShipADick.com out of your parent’s basement?
Yes… How’d you guess that?!?!?