The Dick-O-Lantern!
The Dick-O-Lantern!
The Dick-O-Lantern!

The Dick-O-Lantern!

Regular price $17.99 $0.00 Unit price per

Light it from behind and put it in your window!
Are you tired of privileged pre-teens in half-conceived witch costumes ringing your doorbell and demanding a full-size candy bar? Put this dick in your window, and we guarantee that nobody will come a knocking! Use the Dick-O-Lantern as cheese plate, a wall dickeration or an excuse to dress like a slut without the usual cultural stigma attached. We don’t care. Just don’t, whatever you do, don’t light a candle from the tip!

Each dick will come with the “Happy Halloween” engraved across the shaft.

Add a free note card above.

Every order is sent anonymously!
Your secret is safe with us.


Some Frequently Asked Dick Questions:

- Are the dicks sent anonymously?
They sure are! The only clue of where it came from will be Ship A Dick’s return address on the shipping label.  Even if they email us asking who sent it, we’ll tell them it goes against our Ship A Dick Code of Ethics and we won’t give out that private information.

- Are you sure they won’t find out I sent it?? I’m really worried…
Rest assured your secret is safe with us! We have never and will never give out any order information.

How is this giant dick shipped?
We insert the full length penis into a thin brown paper bag, seal it up, slap a shipping label on it and send it out into the wild via the United States Postal Service.
Every order gets a large orange sticker that says "Fondle With Care'

- How much is shipping?
All dicks are shipped via the United States Postal Service. The cheapest shipping option is ‘First Class Mail’ and generally runs about $5 and takes 3-6 business days to arrive. The faster and more expensive option is ‘Priority Mail’. It costs about $7-$12 depending on the destination and will arrive in 1-3 days. All shipping costs will be calculated on the checkout page.

 - How long does it take to get there?
Generally, we ship dicks within 24hrs after they’re ordered, occasionally within 2 days of an order. No dicks are shipped on weekends; please time your order accordingly. If they are shipped via ‘First Class mail’ then it will take 3-6 business days to arrive once the order is processed. Faster shipping via ‘Priority Mail’ will get your dick there in 1-3 days after the order is processed. We do not guarantee the USPS won’t drop the balls on this.

 - Will the recipient know I sent them a giant dick?
Nope! They will only see’s return address. It’s our dirty, little secret. We promise not to tell.

- How thick is the dick?
Dicks are made of 1/4″ double-walled gluten free, free-range, certified orgasmic cardboard. What they lack in thickness, they deliver, like a Creed slow jam, in beauty and grace.

- What color are the dicks?
Like your Aunt Edna’s underwear, white on one side, and brown on the other.

- Why are you guys even doing this?!?!?
Because shipping giant dicks to people brings us more joy than anything else in life (after handies from your mother of course.)

- Do you live and operate out of your parent’s basement?
Yes… How’d you guess that?!?!?

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Customer Reviews

Based on 2 reviews
CJ Crane

This really hot the spot. Got it just where I wanted it. I thought the greeting being happy Halloween and not Halloweenie was a missed opportunity. Didn’t matter. Still loved it. Great job guys!

Douglas Wietecha
Dick o lantern

I ordered to a friend I think oct. 20th and I was tracking the shipping waited 5 days nothing moved on the tracking end and he did not receive it. I emailed shipadick they mailed a new one he got it in 3 days. And was very quick about answering my emails. I can’t wait to ship more dicks

Thanks Douglas! Glad to hear the second dick arrived safe and sound.
Thanks for choosing Ship A Dick to show your loved ones you care!