Comic Sans brings all the dicks to the yard

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Ladies and gentlemen, pranksters and jesters, we have a special treat in store for you today. Picture this: an anonymous package arrives, leaving the recipient puzzled and curious. Inside, they discover a 29" personalized member, meticulously engraved with a custom message. Brace yourselves, for we proudly present the one and only Custom Message Dick—a whimsical creation that will undoubtedly bring a smile to anyone's face.

Anonymity at Its Finest:
At our establishment, we understand the importance of discretion. That's why every order is sent anonymously. Your secret is always safe with us. So go ahead, surprise your friends, tease your enemies, or simply add a touch of laughter to someone's day—all while maintaining your mysterious anonymity.

Custom Message Dick with Comic Sans


Precision Engraving, Comic Sans Style:
Let's talk about the engraving process, shall we? Our custom messages are carefully etched into the majestic cardboard member with a fricken laser! Yes, you heard that right—it's a goddamn laser dick! Well, maybe not the actual appendage, but a laser-engraved one, to be precise. And guess what font we've chosen to capture the essence of dick? None other than the legendary Comic Sans of course. Prepare for a whimsical twist in every stroke!

Let Your Imagination Run Wild:
With a maximum of 35 characters, the possibilities for mischief are grand. You can use the custom message to express your love, recall an embarrassing drunken escapade, or simply fill the blank with hilarious jibberdick. It's your chance to showcase your creativity and deliver a surprise that won't soon be forgotten.

Unleashing the Dick Message:
To get your creative juices flowing, here are a few tantalizing ideas for messages to adorn your Custom Message Dick:

  1. Happy Birthday!
  2. I think we should start seeing other people.
  3. Get well soon!!
  4. You're a dick!
  5. You know why you're getting this...
  6. Congratulations!
  7. I wanna tongue punch your fart box.
  8. It's a Boy!!
  9. It's a Girl!!
  10. SLAP!
  11. I'm a grower, not a shower...
  12. Your mom ruled in the sack last night!
  13. Mine bends where yours ends.
  14. I love you.
  15. If your dick was this big, you'd have a smaller truck.

Dearest dick lover, the time has come to unleash the hilarity and surprise your friends with the anonymous Custom Message Dick. With its personalized message, precision engraving, and a touch of Comic Sans, it's a gift that's sure to leave a lasting impression. So embrace your mischievous side, let your imagination run wild, and prepare to deliver a laughter-inducing surprise that will be remembered for years to come. 

Love and always yours,
Mr. Dick


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