That's right, kids. Father's Day is just around the corner... Don't forget, Dad's dick had everything to do with your creation, so show a little respect. (That whole stork story is a fallacy that even my phallus can see.) Tell your bastard dad what a dick he can be or show that sweet patriarch how much of a dick you really are.
Or flaunt that liberal arts diploma, like a wrinkled scrotum, right in has face. Yes esteemed cock-stocker, we've got your graduation covered as well. You don't need your own semen to know that this will be a seminal moment in your life. Toss your salad, your fancy cap, and a customized graduation dick--yes my pathetic darling, celebrate what’s to cum.