Dick Pizza!

Peckoroni Pie!
Though it may have slipped your mind, you did indeed order sausage with your pizza.  Ah yes, my sick kinsmen, we found a destitute Luigi sleeping underneath the Burnside Bridge on a Nintendo Power Pad, and we hired him as our official cook at the dick factory. Consequently, we’re up to our cardboard balls in dick pizza, and we thought a few of you might want in on the action.

Topped with a golden shower of cardboard cheese and sprinkled with adorable peckeronis, these 22 ‘inch dick slices are sure to charm pizza-lovers everywhere. By pizza lovers everywhere, I mean everybody in the fucking world. Because if you don’t like pizza, you’re a primitive, subhuman scrap of crap who deserves no recognition….

Rather than reinforcing your friend’s musty front butt with an actual pizza, give the gift of dick instead–it stays fresh forever and it makes a hell of a frisbee.

We’ve even included a note card for free!! Enter your message below.

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Your secret is safe with us.